Diabetes Caregivers susan   Posted: Jan-02-07, 09:51 PM (EST) Post a Reply Reply With Quote Joined: Jan-2-07 Posts: 8 Wet Behind The Ears I am new to this and just signed up today. I am looking for someone who understands my situation and can give me a little advice. I have been married to my husband for 17 years. He is quite stubborn to say the least. He was diagnosed 16 years ago with diabetes type 2. He is now on insulin because he doesn't take care of himself. He doesn't go to the doctor and never checks his bs. I do know that they go as high as 400. I have been trying to help him and everytime I try, he gets angry. I am at my wits end and am trying desperately to save our marriage but can only do so much. Can anyone else relate and if so, how do you deal with a situation like this? I am open to anything at this point. Thanks... ----------- Susan Report Bad Post | IP | Print-Friendly | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top | Tree

1. RE: Diabetes Caregivers MyBelle74   Posted: Jan-17-07, 00:05 AM (EST) In response to: message #0 Post a Reply Reply With Quote   Joined: Jan-16-07 Posts: 2 Wet Behind The Ears I TOTALLY feel your pain. I've been in the same boat with my husband for a long time. Several heart attacks and years later, we are now waiting to meet with the cardiologist on the 22nd to find out when the open heart for the fauly mitral valve will take place. (He's already had a bypass, which is now completely clogged up).Of course, we are now going through the not smoking, eating right, getting activity phase....again. It seems like he may actually be paying attention to the reality check this time, I sure hope so. The stress from worrying about him all the time is really making me feel ill. I wish I could give you some advice on how to make him come around. Those are some really high numbers, the kind that cause damage. Do you all have kids? I've used guilt about "not being there for the kids", etc. I know that sounds awful, but hey, I'll do anything if it means he'll take better care. Would love to hear from you again! Michele Report Bad Post | IP | Print-Friendly | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top | Tree

2. RE: Diabetes Caregivers susan   Posted: Jan-18-07, 02:49 PM (EST) In response to: message #1 Post a Reply Reply With Quote Joined: Jan-2-07 Posts: 8 Wet Behind The Ears Oh my gosh-it is so good to hear from you1 I feel like I am alone sometimes. I am looking for support thru this all. I know he is also headed down that road. His brother has had 3 heart attacks since age 39. It is in his family. We do have 3 teenagers and I do try to explain that he needs to be there for the kids. He is a great dad on good days. I can totally tell when his bs are out of range. But he sleeps 24/7 and is not nearly involved with our sons activities, like playing football, etc. I continue to be there, but it is not the same for him and he knows that too. I literally lose sleep over his health. I did have a conversation with him again last night about making appts to see the doctor and went into the fact that he is messing with our future and I told him if he stroked tomorrow I would be very angry because it could be preventable. He again says I will make an appt. He doesn't get it and I don't know what else I can do. He won't make an appt, that is just his ending words all the time. I have called his endocrinologist for advice. I am worried for the kids because they could someday get diabetes and I don't want them to do what he is doing. Are your children at home or grown? How do they take all of this-do they see how he is and that he is not taking care of himself? I look foward to hearing from you...Susan ----------- Susan Report Bad Post | IP | Print-Friendly | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top | Tree

3. RE: Diabetes Caregivers Lady_love   Posted: Mar-24-07, 04:25 PM (EST) In response to: message #2 Post a Reply Reply With Quote Joined: Mar-24-07 Posts: 2 Wet Behind The Ears Susan, My heart goes out to you. I wish I had some "magic" answers that would help you with your husband. I am the wife of a Type II diabetic. My husband's grandmother and mother were diabetics. Both did do what they should have done. I won't bore you with family histry but let's just say heritey plays a "big" part. Lifestyle also plays a "big" part. Our of five children on my husbands side, so far he is the only diabetic. I worry about my two daughters and my 5 grandchilden. You need to direct your energy to those teens you have. Educate yourself. Educate them. You have access to the web. Cook healthy. Teen's can have a bottom pit! (I raised two) Work with them, if at all possible. You have control with the kind of food that's in the house and you cook. (No?) Just doing that will not only help you and your children but your husband. (Watch the portion sizes for all and only cook so much for all.) You care and I know you can do it. Living a "hair" differently and having more support from those teens (it is their future too) of yours might help not only, you but your husband. My heart and prayers are with you each and every day. Gail Report Bad Post | IP | Print-Friendly | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top | Tree

4. RE: Diabetes Caregivers sdbmshad   Posted: Nov-26-07, 04:28 PM (EST) In response to: message #0 Post a Reply Reply With Quote Joined: Nov-26-07 Posts: 7 Wet Behind The Ears I was in the same boat you are in. My husband said that he wasn't old enough to have diabeties, that he had an infection and that messed up his numbers, he said that he was just eating wrong that if he fasted that his nubmers would be better, ect ect ect. He gave me every excuse even after being hospitalized for a minor surgery. I worried myself litterally sick then I got mad. I asked him if he wanted to see our kids graduate (from college and high school). He said he did. I made a deal with him that if he would go with the program his doctor and I came up with that he might be able to get off medications. He is not insulin dependent and didn't like the shots they gave him in the hospital. When the numbers came down he wanted to revert to his old habits so I again got mad and said that if he didn't have to take his meds then I didn't need to take my blood pressure pills, my stomach pills (because of his stubborness) or any of the asthma medication that I am supose to take. That woke him up very quickly. I also used our kid's medical histories as well. We have a son with a spinal issue (came six months before the diabieties diagnosis this past summer) Needless to say he is doing very well now but it took me being more stubborn than he is. It also takes time and you will have to find little ways to change his habits. I introduced whole wheat products into our diet as something that I wanted to try. Now he won't eat regular pasta's. He prefres whole wheat bread's as well. I took the juices out and put half an orange or grapefruit in place. At first it was an argument until I told him I already bought the fruit and if he didn't eat it it would go to waste - something he can't stand. I replaced his ice cream with frozen yogurt but only buy it if he takes his numbers and keeps track of them. I make him special treats when he has done a really good job of keeping his blood levels good and the doctor is now talking about maybe reducing his medications if he can drop his A1C down one more point. It will take time but if you stick to your guns about it and use some psychology on him you'll win in the long run. I wonder what he would say if you asked him if it were you with Diabeties what would he want you to do? it might make him think. I also stopped putting all the food on the table. I make a plate for each person and that is what goes on the table and surprise surprise no one leaves the table hungry. Don't give up just get more Stubborn. By the way I have been married 25+ years. Report Bad Post | IP | Print-Friendly | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top | Tree

5. RE: Diabetes Caregivers troberts1976   Posted: Feb-29-08, 01:56 PM (EST) In response to: message #0 Post a Reply Reply With Quote   Joined: Feb-29-08 Posts: 17 Warmed Up Hi Susan, I don't know EXACTLY what you are going through, but I watched my grandmother go through a similar situation with my grandfather. He's incredibly stubborn and she has been an absolute saint (I wish I had inherited her patience rather than my grandfather's temper). It's to the point now where she has to do everything for him due to his dementia, but I watched her go through the ups and downs with him. It has been a very moving thing to watch. Unfortunately I cannot give any advice as I don't live with my grandparents, but I do empathize. I hope things are looking up soon. ----------- - Tonya Report Bad Post | IP | Print-Friendly | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top | Tree

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