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diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
tonepaisano  
Posted: Nov-08-06, 08:59 PM (EST)
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Wet Behind The Ears
Wet Behind The Ears


Hi everyone, I am new to this site, forum, or any forum for that matter. I am a male that has had type 1 diabetes for 26 years now, a few complications but not that bad health wise considering the 26 year history with this disease.
many fluctuations in everyday life as all of you reading this knows.
been there, done that right?
well, having some recent problems with dating, realtionships. my ex-girlfriend and i after 4 years together have broken up about 10 months ago
and many issues were the cause of the breakup.
but i am now having difficulty explaining and going thru the whole gammut of meeting a woman that can understand and try to work with me with this disease, along with normal daily life.
went thru allot in the past with relationships and things seem to be much more difficult.
i am looking for woman diabetic friends not just for advice on relationships but just to share daily experiences with the diabetes and just everyday life in general.i would love to hear from you.
if you reply, we can chat more, thanks



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1. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
4sons   United States
Posted: Nov-29-06, 07:19 PM (EST)
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Hi,

I am a single middle aged woman (in a committed relationship, I might hasten to add) but would agree that dating and diabetes are tough companions. Even if there aren't active "issues" they always lurk not too far behind. I have found that honesty is the best there is. I know it's easily said that if a partner can't accept the disease they can't accept YOU (or me!) but it's true.

Good luck!

Cheers -

Ruth/4sons




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5. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
DRBain   United States
Posted: Dec-05-06, 06:57 PM (EST)
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Ruth,


I too am in a committed relationship. The 15th of Oct. was our 25th anniversary. Not bad considering the odds against a second marriage.



-----------
Dan


"I used to cry because I had no shoes until I met the man that had no feet"


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6. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
4sons   United States
Posted: Dec-07-06, 09:07 AM (EST)
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Wow, Dan ... congratulations! I was in a 20 year marriage that ended nine years ago. In fact, I'm sure the stress and subsequent LOUSY diet were definite factors in the onset of my diabetes! While it does run in my family (birth family ... I'm adopted) I bet I could have held it at bay for a few more years!

I am now again in a LTR and thrilled. <g>

Cheers -

Ruth/4sons




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15. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
bjhas3206   United States
Posted: Nov-19-08, 06:36 PM (EST)
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Wet Behind The Ears
Wet Behind The Ears


I understand , i am new with type 1 for 6 months and my wife did not want me no more so i just had a divorce 2 months ago.So i know how you feel. Dont worry every person has a partner and God will heal you in the next life.



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23. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
renee seguin   United States
Posted: Feb-12-11, 04:27 PM (EST)
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Wet Behind The Ears
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renee wow sorry to hear that about your new diagnois and your unsupportive wife. she sounds like a very selfish person. it's not your fault. diabetes sucks, and unfortuniatly alot of prople do too. stay strong and just take care of yourself. its hard I know especially when you have to do it alone without support from a companion.



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2. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
smokeyranch  
Posted: Nov-29-06, 11:29 PM (EST)
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Wet Behind The Ears
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HELLO
I am also new to this site . the thing is that i am in this fight alone .no family or friends. I am new to my area and sometimes i get scared because when my sugar does its up/down and i shaking and trying to get it in control its no fun alone so if there is anyone out there who would like a new female friend please contact me .i sure could use one right about now.I am looking for a male diabetic person to date maybe we can look out for each other.


Quoted Text:
Hi everyone, I am new to this site, forum, or any forum for that matter. I am a male that has had type 1 diabetes for 26 years now, a few complications but not that bad health wise considering the 26 year history with this disease.
many fluctuations in everyday life as all of you reading this knows.
been there, done that right?
well, having some recent problems with dating, realtionships. my ex-girlfriend and i after 4 years together have broken up about 10 months ago
and many issues were the cause of the breakup.
but i am now having difficulty explaining and going thru the whole gammut of meeting a woman that can understand and try to work with me with this disease, along with normal daily life.
went thru allot in the past with relationships and things seem to be much more difficult.
i am looking for woman diabetic friends not just for advice on relationships but just to share daily experiences with the diabetes and just everyday life in general.i would love to hear from you.
if you reply, we can chat more, thanks





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3. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
DRBain   United States
Posted: Dec-05-06, 05:01 PM (EST)
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Stella,


Looks like you could open a new Forum on diabetic singles.



-----------
Dan


"I used to cry because I had no shoes until I met the man that had no feet"


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4. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
DRBain   United States
Posted: Dec-05-06, 05:04 PM (EST)
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This message was edited on Dec-05-06 at 05:05 PM (EST)
 
OOPS! My computer Hiccupped.


-----------
Dan


"I used to cry because I had no shoes until I met the man that had no feet"


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7. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
beaver100   United States
Posted: Dec-17-06, 02:24 PM (EST)
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Wet Behind The Ears
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I have also been a diabetic for over 20 years and try to keep good care of myself. I would appreciate any advice on dealing with dating at the age of 40 with my health. I know its not easy.



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8. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
4sons   United States
Posted: Dec-17-06, 03:33 PM (EST)
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Quoted Text:
I have also been a diabetic for over 20 years and try to keep good care of myself. I would appreciate any advice on dealing with dating at the age of 40 with my health. I know its not easy.

I think it's always good to remember that you're eating for a HEALTHY life ... as all humans should! I don't know if you're Type 1 or Type 2 ... I'm Type 2 and would think that would be easier to "disguise" if one were so inclined. I'm fortunate in that my s/o is into eating healthily as well, and he's the one who usually comes up with the innovative recipes to try.

Good luck. I think the bigger question is where all the decent single middle aged men? Period!!!

Because decent people respect each others' needs.

Cheers -

Ruth/4sons




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9. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
ex_123  
Posted: Jun-12-07, 11:20 PM (EST)
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Wet Behind The Ears
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Hi:
I am new here. I see that your post is a year old, but it caught my attention. I am not a diabetic, but someone I know does. I never bother to fully understand the spiralling destructive affect diabetes could do to someone. Until I met the guy that I am currently seeing now. He has type one like yourself. When I started seeing this person, I had no idea that he was diabetic. After many months he told me. It didn't bother me one bit. I first didn't understand why it took him so long to tell me. I did my own research about the disease and understood why he kept it a secret. I don't understand what the big deal is, not on your part but for those who decide to end the relationship because of the illness.

I am still seeing this person.I don't bring up the topic the illness till he does. He knows that I care. His illness doesn't change how I feel about him. I want to care for him and wish I had a magic pill to cure this horrible disease. He manages his illness very well.

I am sorry about what you are going through. I hope now you are with someone with much compassion and understanding.




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10. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
Lee32   United States
Posted: Aug-15-07, 10:01 PM (EST)
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Oh, my, this is the thread for my husband...he could tell you a hilarious story (that I have little recollection of) from when we were dating about wandering through a 7-11 with me while I stuffed twinkies in my mouth, babbling about "my sugar, my sugar..." And to think he married me anyway.
I do know this has taken it's toll on my husband. Even when I'm riding the blood sugar roller coaster, I try not to bring every little detail to him because I know how it wears on me some days! No sense in the both of us scrutinizing every aspect of "what could be wrong?"
But like ex_123 said, compassion and understanding is what it's all about. We all bring our own baggage to any relationship, ours just happens to contain lancets and toe infections.



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11. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
krimsa  
Posted: Mar-29-08, 12:44 PM (EST)
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Hi there. I am a Type 1 diabetic but was diagnosed at age 33 and am now 35. Itís weird for the onset to be that late in life but this disease is pretty tricky as we all know. Heh.

So needless to say, I had a normal, relatively healthy life up until this condition. It is difficult to date men now (something that was never a problem before). I am constantly afraid that they will find me, in a bathroom injecting insulin, jump to conclusions and run away. It seems like it might be so much easier to find a diabetic male friend (either type 1 or 2) as he might be able to relate and it would be less explaining to go through! The pancreas and its function 101 lol. I feel for you son!




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12. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
Smitty   United States
Posted: Mar-29-08, 09:00 PM (EST)
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Greetings and welcome to the neighborhood.

You didn't indicate where you live. When you were first diagnosed with D-Type 1 did you see the diabetes educator? There should be some diabetes support groups near to where you live. Get in touch with them as they can be the best help with a vast number of problems we all face.

Also try the American Diabetes Assn where you live. They can also be of help.

Smitty




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13. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
krimsa  
Posted: Mar-30-08, 08:50 AM (EST)
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Thanks Smitty. I live in New Hampshire on a farm and raise alpacas. Itís a good life for a diabetic because it involves so much physical activity. I did see an educator when I was very first diagnosed just to explain to me about insulin and food. The exchanges and all that. It was overwhelming to say the least. I canít imagine being a child diagnosed as a Type 1 or the parent of a child with this disease. Its so much constant worry and planning.

I have felt quite alone with this. For some time after diagnosis I was in denial that I had it. I felt I was too old to acquire it and didnít understand. But now have to come to terms with the fact that it isnít going anywhere and I need to treat it diligently. In a way I might have an advantage in the sense of complications as it did come so late. But who knows in that department. I have heard all bodies are different in that respect. Thanks for the resources. I will see what I can find. A support group with other diabetics would be great.




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14. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
Faustalynn   United States
Posted: Apr-04-08, 11:10 AM (EST)
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Hey there. My name is Fausta, I have been going through some of the same things. I'm currently in the process of a divorce after a 24 year marriage. He was very non-understanding and copuld care less. He would always bring me candy and junk I wasn't supposed to have and then get insulted when I ouldn't eat it. I was diagnosed T-2 in Sept. 1998. He was at my sessions with the Dr.'s and educators, but he's the 'expert' on anything and everything he thinks and just ignored what everyone was saying. He even went as far as telling me I didn't have diabetes and I needed to stop telling people that I did . Dating is new to me again and all the rules have changed it looks like. To top it off, I was just refered to the Endo. 2 day's ago by my primary for the pump. If you need someone to talk to let me know. I have yahoo messanger.

Fausta




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16. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
krimsa  
Posted: Nov-20-08, 10:47 AM (EST)
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Type 2's can go on the pump? Wow I didnt know that. I am a type 1 but it happened later in life at age 33 and Im 36 now. A hard adjustment. I have not gone on the pump but am considering it.



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17. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
DRBain   United States
Posted: Nov-20-08, 11:50 PM (EST)
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Fausta,


Sorry that you are going through a tough time. At my age I couldn't see me dating again. Gosh I thought I would ever be old enough to be saying that.
If you need to talk to old friends you can always talk here to your old friends most of which are still here.



-----------
Dan


"I used to cry because I had no shoes until I met the man that had no feet"


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18. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
queenielewis63   United States
Posted: Nov-28-08, 02:40 PM (EST)
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Wet Behind The Ears
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Hi Friend:

Having felt the sting of separation from my significant other a few months after we found out that I had type 1, I know your pain. He could not cope with the demands of my disease, so he kicked me to the curb. Keep on trucking brother, and God will prevail.


Queen



-----------
queenie


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19. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
themadpoet82   United States
Posted: Dec-04-08, 00:05 AM (EST)
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Wet Behind The Ears
Wet Behind The Ears


Dude, I feel you.

I've given up in the dating department and I'm only 26.

Then again, these 26 years have seen more hardship then they care to know!

I have ten different diagnoses and/or health issues. I can't even explain one without someone getting confused - try explaining ten. By then, they usually run off or whatever.

I don't think it'd be a wise idea for me to have any kids, either, so that slims the field down even more.

I don't think diabetes depresses me (I've been Type II for 9 years), I think it's the fact that I'm still single. No one understands the problems that come from juggling multiple medical issues. That's not on top of the costs and the trips to the doctor.

I eat healthy, don't eat out. I try to be nice, except I might be a bit grouchy on my bad days. It's hard, plain and simple.

Good luck to you.



-----------
And both that morning equally lay / In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. Frost's The Road Not Taken


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21. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
renee seguin   United States
Posted: May-29-10, 09:57 PM (EST)
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Wet Behind The Ears
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renee :
hey dude,
I feel all your words. diabetes sucks and i've given up on dating too. who wants to deal with all my bad days? its so true no one truly understands. every diabetic is at a different level and thats what people dont understand. all our bodies are differant and we have to deal with our illness in differant ways. I hate it when I have to constantly flake on my friends because I wake up having a bad health day. And they truly dont understand. how are you suppose to have a relationship? i mean really for me its hard to even hold a job with this disease.



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22. Diabetes and Dating
A great gal   Canada
Posted: Jun-02-10, 01:13 PM (EST)
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Wet Behind The Ears
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I have dediced to take a cheerier outlook on the whole thing. Diagnosed 1 month ago and have already lost 10lbs. I figure that if my chubbiness restricted my options, I am only increasing my chances of finding a life partner with every pound I lose. Not to mention that I am back at the gym with more determination than ever, where I will certainly meet more pepople.

DOnt despair, there is someone for everyone, the challenge is crossing paths with that significant other and to be open to possibilities.

Warm regards all




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25. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
songdude1962   United States
Posted: May-01-11, 11:02 PM (EST)
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"Proposition 19 from California should
be taking place at the Fed level... a
multi-billion dollar taxable industry
could go a long way to help our nation
become deficit-free."

tonepaisano -

As a fellow spaghetti-bender, the departure from our culture's pasta is a bit hard to take (haha) - but, with a few twists and turns - I'll get it right. I've baked my own gluten-free bread (decidedly 'all right', but, a bit mealy the second day); I eat Cheerios, or Corn Chex; I've got some other gluten-free all-purpose flour - maybe a Calzone (I know, shut up!)... maybe a better form of bread, from our bread machine.

Show me the way, earlier farers of 'The Diabetic Lifestyle'. Be well, tonepaisano, and all others attempting to keep up here once every six months, to a year (lmao)... that means that more people need to come back here, and make this community thrive... correct? I know, I'm wet behind the ears...

D




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26. RE: diabetes, dating, and long term relationships
songdude1962   United States
Posted: May-01-11, 11:15 PM (EST)
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Also, tonepaisano -

When it comes to dating - I started dating at the end of my previous marriage five years ago, and after I was free in 2008... I had fun, but, I love being with another person in my life (preferably female, but whatever goes...?)... once you meet that special someone who loves you, you just... know. This person will possess a fire, that could burn you - if you pushed the proverbial envelope, with her/him - a person that you end up coming to not only just love, but respect, as well. Damn Guineas...

iccutnas...




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